If You Want to Change Your Life Change Your Attitude

An engaging story and appealing message that is easy to understand and instantly applicable.  The message applies to everyone.

The problem -  Susie is always complaining about her job.

Last night my friend Susie called and was complaining about her job again.  It seems she doesn't like anything about it.  I asked "if it's so bad why don't you find another job"?  Susie said "well, it provides good benefits, it's a short commute and I just don't have the energy to look for another job".  I said then it's time to change your attitude.  Life is too short to spent most of your day unhappy.  Susie said easy for you to say.  I replied "There is always a choice about the attitude you arrive at work with and there is always a choice about how you do your work, even when there is no choice about the work itself".  Susie, said I understand what your saying, but how do I do that?  I said Susie let's go boating tomorrow evening and we'll blue sky about how changing your attitude could make your job more fun and rewarding.  Sure Beth...I'd like to go boating, but I don't see how changing my attitude is going to make my toxic job better. See you tomorrow Susie.

Attitude Adjustment Time

Susie arrived at 6:00 p.m. and the first words out of her mouth were "I hate my job"!  Nice to see you too Susie.  I suggested that we have a cold glass of lemonade and sit on the deck for awhile before taking the boat out for a cruise.  I thought that if we relaxed, laughed a little and took in the beauty surrounding us that Susie's frame of mind might be more open to what I was going to share with her.  I live on Lake Minnetonka.  It's a big beautiful lake west of Minneapolis.  It covers over 14,000 acres and it has channels, bays, islands and beaches to explore.  As we sat on the deck sipping our lemonade I noticed the millions of sparkling diamonds on the water.  Susie didn't seem to notice them.  She just went on and on about her job, the work, the people and I finally said Susie stop "Do you want to be happy"?  Of course she said, you don't seem to understand I hate my job, I don't like going to work and I'm not the only one... in the lunch room all we do is talk about how bad things are.   Susie, you're focusing all your energy on everything that is wrong.  Come on let's take the boat out and see if we can come up with a solution to cure your unhappiness.  Susie laughed and said "the cure is a Long Island Ice Tea on the wharf at Lord Fletcher's".  I said later Susie as we pulled away from my dock.

The insight for change begins

The lake was beautiful and I found myself wishing that Susie could just enjoy the cruise, but it seemed that all she wanted to talk about was her toxic job as a customer service representative.  I said Susie let's not talk about your job...let's talk about you.  Beth, you don't think I'm the problem do you?  Well, Susie I think you have everything you need to be happy, but you choose to focus on the negatives.  Beth, my job is awful!  Yes, I know I've heard all about it, but I've also heard you say it provides good benefits, it's a short commute and most important you've told me you just don't have the energy to go out looking for another job. Is that right?  Yes, that is all true...I'm stuck in this nighmare life.  Susie, your life isn't a nightmare.  Sure, Beth easy for you to say you've got everything.  What do I have?  You have a great job.  You love what you do.  You're fit and healthy.  Everyone likes you.  You live on the lake.  I could go on and on.  Okay, Susie how long have we been friends?  Beth, you know we met three years ago.  Yes, Susie I remember I met you when I moved to the house I live in now on the lake.  I think I should tell you about my life the six years just before I met you.  What...what are you talking about?  Well, Susie during the six years before I met you I fought a life threatening illness, underwent lung surgery, dealt with extensive medical treatments, I was in and out of hospitals, I went through a divorce, I lost my home, I lost my business and I struggled with overwhelming financial stress.  Beth, I never knew.  How come I didn't know?  Tell me about what you went through .  Susie, I will tell you all about everything some other time, but tonight I want to talk about you.  I only shared what I've gone through with you tonight, so you'd understand that my life has had major bumps...everything hasn't been easy.  Well, I don't understand you're so happy.  Susie, it's a choice.  I could have given up or lived an angry life full of self pity, but would that have made anything better?  I guess not, but I don't understand how you could have gone through all of that and be you.  What do you mean?  Well, you're Ms. Beth the director of Little Dancers and you're a motivational speaker.  Beth, you're the happiest person I know.  Susie, I'm going to tell you the most important thing you'll ever hear are you ready?  Yes, Beth tell me. 

Susie, to be happy you must be able to accept what you can not change, love yourself and love what you do, even if at the moment you might not be loving where you are at or what you are doing.

Okay, Beth I'll bite tell me how I can do that.  Are you hungry Susie?  Yes, I'm getting hungry.  Let's dock at Lord Fletcher's Wharf, eat and we can finish our conversation.  Sounds good.

When the student is ready the teacher appears

We found a nice table close to the water, but away from the crowd.  The waiter brought us some water and menus and as he walked away I had an idea.  Susie, everyday I want you to visualize that you have a life menu and you get to choose how your day will go...you get to choose your attitude each day.  What do you mean?  Well, you can select from the unhappy entrees some of the following: anger, lonely, sad, unhappy, self-pity, stingy, jealously, failure, etc. or you can choose from the happy entrees some of the following:  happiness, friends, fun, play, love, sharing, success, etc.  Beth, but everyone would choose from the happy category if they had the choice.  Yes, Susie I agree ....but, it doesn't happen like that too many people let what happens to them make or break their day versus deciding how they're going to react to their day.  You need to start each day by choosing your attitude.  The attitude you choose will shape your day instead of letting the day shape your attitude.  We all have some difficult people, places or things that effect our lives, but it is how we react to the unpleasant things that shape our personal life.  Example:  Tomorrow morning when you go to your office, go with the positive attitude that you are going to be the best customer service representative that the industry has ever had.  Be present with a positive attitude.  Instead of letting customer complaints get you down....go out of your way to really help the person on the other end of the phone.  Make their day!  Susie, if you do this you'll quickly find that your positive attitude is contagious and the happiness you give away will be returned.  Beth, okay I get it...but, I don't want to be a customer service representative forever.  I understand, but while you are be the best customer service representative.   Be awesome, be extrodinary, be world famous....this is within your control.  No one else gets to choose your attitude.  In all aspects of your life you get to choose happiness or not.  You know that I live in a rented home and you've said to me "Beth, why do you spend so much time and energy planting new gardens and tending to them at a property you don't even own"?   Remember my answer  "This is where I am now and I choose to bloom where I'm planted even if it's temportary".   Susie, if I didn't plant the flowers and tend to them now I wouldn't get to enjoy them now....why would I choose to deprive myself of the happiness I derive from my beautiful garden now?  I don't want to wait for happiness.  I choose to be happy now at work, with family, with friends, at home and in my garden too.  It doesn't matter if I don't own my land it's where I'm at now.  Susie, does this make any sense to you?  I want your life to be like a garden full of vibrant beauty and you don't have to wait for a better job, a better home, a relationship or to own your own home....a beautiful life is waiting on the entree menu just choose it.  I don't want you to miss a thing.  Today is the day to be who you want to be....quit waiting for someone, something or someplace to make you happy.  It is your life, you are the writer, the painter, the sculpter, the choreographer....it's up to you to design a life of happiness.  No one else can do this for you.  Beth, I never thought of my life this way or my job.  Maybe, you could help us clean up our toxic environment at work.  Susie, I will help if you need me, but I think you're capable of changing not only yourself, but your workplace too.  Start by showing up with a new attitude, have fun at work, make your customers and co-workers day, make the people around you feel important and be sure you stay present don't slip back into old habits.  You can get your whole customer service department on board start with a daily attitude menu and post it by the lunchroom.  Get people talking about how to make their jobs more satisfying.  Your team will catch on, because happiness and fun are contagious. As the sun was setting Susie was energized, ideas were popping and she said she was excited for the first time since I've known her to go to work tomorrow.

The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes. As you think, so shall you be.                                                - William James